Too little do we speak of the sense of isolation or alienation when it is relevant. All know in some way what it means to feel alienated or isolated and I had my time with this, a long time. Father, why hath you forsaken me. Well I am the father as I am the son. There was no divine choice by a higher power to force me to come here and learn my lessons, I decided to take that leap to earth when I was devoured in love a time before now and so then I was also backed by love and supported by love.
Then I arrived in this world of decay a boy so lonely and scared, where was it gone. Love, where did it go? Why did I know something was wrong? I thought my memory was supposed to be temporarily wiped to forget about that love, did the angels pass me by and not place their finger on my lips because I came to be here very much aware of what was gone. The blanket of light that birthed me to this world of shadows.
Time passed, I played sports, I went to school, I turned 10. I began to dream dreams no man could face yet I a boy had no choice but to face them. These dreams of demons and creatures that could not be manifested here on this level, nor should they be, but they were special to me, they were my sacred demons, my sacred faces. I the one who hath not forgotten his roots tried aimlessly to return home through the veil of the night but they would not let me home. They scared me back to earth.
You see before these dreams of demons I had a thirst, a longing, a need to find where I called home. It was not here on this earth, it was one we are supposed to forget coming here. Ball of love. I remember, this thirst, as a youth led me to search, I searched for this love through the filtration system of pain passed on from generation to generation, ignoring my own compass home to search for it with the broken compasses of others. I looked for it in the primary school religions books, I looked for it in the eyes who stood behind me in the church, I looked for it within the unveiling of some Mayan prophecies, I looked anywhere and everywhere.
It was not there, it was not anywhere but overtime, eventually...
I found it because. I found it because... it was not anywhere, not anywhere!
It was to important to be in some building of stone built by the hands of man. It was somewhere, special, it was not just anywhere. Of course, it was in the last place I would look for a scared kid in this third dimensional experience of a world of full on inconceivable numbers of atoms that vibrate at such high velocity we end up things we can physically touch yet these atoms consist of 1000 times more of empty space then actual... stuff. I knew not where to look but then my love called me through the chambers for all this I time I thought only to look at that around through my eyes, but the last place I looked was within me there it was, I had after years of searching from the age of my first memory I had finally found heaven and brought it to earth.
The reason one can be in love is because love is all around them, it must be all around you to be in it, but you must be in it for it to be all around you.
Now I Am Home.